Scenario Paintball Sucks

People have been talking to me about scenario games more and more often over the recent months.  I try to temper my words, but really, scenario games kind of suck.

While we were on the field last week, one of the refs commented that it's fat guys that like the scenario games the most.

There is the idea of scenario paintball -- that is, you're running some scenario pretend game with a bunch of other players...

... and then there's the reality of scenario paintball.

I'm one of those players that will typically show up in the morning (if I wake up) and play every single game until there are no more players left to play with.

This is not what I've seen of most players, much less scenario events.  I don't know if it's a physical fitness thing or lack of interest or what, but most people tend to peter out and not play as much as possible.  Most of the time, people will sit out games so they can shoot the breeze in the staging area or something.  Clearly, as an antisocial paintballer, that holds little interest for me.

For rec games, that's fine.  If the teams are fucked up, the refs will juggle them up and balance things out, and you can get back to the direct action.

But for scenarios, and even big games, that doesn't work because teams are set.  So if you got stuck with a team that didn't come to play, well, you're screwed.

And that's the problem of scenario paintball.  People don't show up to play.  Even if they're on the field, they're not out there to play.  So if they didn't come to play, what are they doing?

Look at all the videos.  It's just an excuse for people to go out and indiscriminately dump paint like it's going out of fashion.  Much like the 10-year-olds who go to a paintball field but prefer to blow their paint on the target range instead of in-game because they don't have the balls for the real thing.  These guys go to scenario games and stand there dumping paint on literally *nothing*.  I'm sure the people running the event love it though.

That's assuming they're on the field.  They don't even manage that sometimes.  Maybe they're in the staging area dicking with their faulty equipment.  Maybe they're in the staging area just cutting up and shooting the breeze.

Or maybe they're in the staging area too wiped out from the previous night's drinking.  Clearly, if you came hung over and not well rested, you didn't come to play.

I drove this far and paid this much for what?

Fuck that.

This is unfortunately the other side of the soft argument of "as long as you have fun, do what you want".  Because for some people, being useless does in fact represent fun.

And that might not even be the worst of it...